Baby's Day Out

Sorry for the delay in getting this post out, but kya karu, bloging is like making a baby peee , you can't force it , it just happens. I don’t want to make anyone click on this blog and find no new post. But what do I do ? The baby decides to pee when it wants to. Anyways , now that baby says “Uwwaan Uwwaaan ( Remove my diaper idiot , I want to peeeee )” , I shall blog .

After watcing today's game, I'm convinced that captain of Mavericks, Mansingh is as much suitable for playing cricket as much as Nana Patekar is suitable for the role of Leonardo De Caprio in Titanic. I was told once that Mansingh had participated in one of those junior school frog races .... just for the sake of winning Pencilboxes and Crayons as prizes. But apart from that her sporting skills are as good as Bijoy Bhooka's bowling. As if this was not enough, there was the other girl, green-chashma, showcasing her cricketing (in)abilities. To top a disappointing day, there was DJ Fart-hik, playing "Fart-hik calling Fart-hik". This has really been the story of fun kriket this year: IISA has been changing the schedule of the matches as frequently as fart-hik was changing songs. There is something common in both things - both things s**k !! Unsurprisingly, neither cricket nor fart-tik songs were able to gain attention of people today, who were busy kicking balls - i mean footballs.

I have a special liking for Jalta Kya team. Kya karu, they always have these amazing characters. Just to illustrate: Imagine an Ambassador car.1985 model. White colored. Dusty. Old. Imagine this car running along the streets of NYC at time square. I get picture of such ambasaddor car whenever I see Devi-Prasad play. Now imagine a lady with bright red lipstick on her lips and her hair tied in a big bun , sitting in the front seat of the ambassador. That is baby and then, there are three naughty kids at the back of the ambasador. Your guess is as good as mine about who those three are. Then, I'm real impressed with this guy daal tadka. Must say that tadkaa, despite his bacteria sized achievements in sports till now, has done quite well. Talking of him there was this funny incident last week at the ground when chhota, another good player, almost deliberately hit tadka with his bat. There is something going on between Tadka and Chhota I hear.

Well anyway, I have 377 such incidents to gossip about and believe I should stop here for the moment. Have got into this habit of being a mobile complaint box ranting endlessly, but believe me, I'm trying my best to overcome this problem.

Adios till the next post or should I say, till the baby feels like peeing again! See you at the ground :)

P.S.

I know that I am a very un-liked guy, someone who makes fun of people , but I have to say this. I think if anyone takes out some time to leave a comment on this blog , even if the comment is about some desi Matrimonial Website , it is my responsibility to reply to that comment .I mean , its like someone says "hi" to me , so I need to say something back to him/her.A combined THANK YOU to all those who left a comment to the last post and supported this blog. It's not that I am like "Seee , I got a comment !!" . It's like when you left a comment , you spent some of your time saying something to me , even though you could have saved that time .So thanks to all those who commented on the last post and to those who emailed me. Appreciate your support, and as I've said before, this blog belongs to *you*. So if you wish to hear more (or less) about something someone, feel free to let know your opinion.

P.P.S

Our very own aashiq, impressing girls on the field, needs special mention. The dude, Romantic_Bandar@Single-Monkeys.com, also mailed yours truly to help him impress Champa, whom he "adores" much. As much as I respect emotions though, I'll hold my tongue and leave the discussions of his romantic fantasies for some other day :)

Long time no C ....

... yeahh yeahh, its just mostly been C++ and Java :) ... lots of things have happened in the last year or so. I was a BS (bull shit) already, now almost on the verge of becoming MS (more shit), and not too far ahead would perhaps be a Phd (piled higher and deeper) :)

Anyways, jokes apart, for a long long time now, the only one speaking on this blog has been Silence. And time, I thought, was just right to break it.

Wouldn't rant too much though in this post. Life has a mind of its own , and a pretty crazy mind at that: Yours truly is thinking of re-starting this forum !!! The thought has come after hours and days of convincing from some of you. I'm constantly reminded that fun kriket this year hasn't been as much fun as it was last year and guess what, I am being blamed for this: Why didn't you start blogging this year as well ?

Well, question again is after all that happened last year, do we want to start this again ? I don't mind doing this for the remaining games ..... as long as *YOU* don't mind. If *YOU* guys are upto it, we can all get this blog rolling again and make this a forum to discuss a little sense, a little nonsense and a whole lot of madness.

*YOU* guys let me know again, if you want to start the fun again. Once we start though, there would be no looking back. Plain uncensored blogging. Would try my best to not be too harsh, but then again, I don't make any promises. Instead, YOU have to make a promise to become tolerant and take the humor in good spirit.

If you're game for this, vote here, let know your thoughts. Because a lot of older guys have retired from the game since last year, and because there have been plenty of new additions, I think there is a need to do this poll again. And same as earlier, you options are:

A. Keep blogging, without toning down. Uncensored.
B. Keep blogging but be mild.
C. Stop this non-sense.
D. F***-off, we don't care.

Again, please keep up the democratic spirit of the blog, and vote only once with reasons for your vote. For the faint-hearted, I'm leaving anonymous commenting on here. Will blog on the games next week if there are sufficient number of positive votes.

Lets get the fun started .... if you desire, that is!

Final Say

Straight to the points:

1. I'm pretty sure all of us here share one common sentiment and that is having fun. We are all very united and there is no feeling of hatred or regionalism amongst us. Its just that there are a couple of spoit eggs out there, who have affected our mood. 

2. To those idiots who got regionalism into this, I would like to point out one fact: Names appearing on this blog had included bevdaa, radio, lata, junglee, bhikari, frog dude, pardada .... all from different parts of the country. Your accusation of regionalism was baseless. The truth is that you guys wanted particular individuals to be targeted. When that did not happen, it resulted in frustration! What you did not realize is that this blog was just 3 days old. There are 13 teams that is 78 individuals playing. It was impossible to get all these individuals on the blog in 6 posts. You should have been patient. sabka number aatha.

3. Going by the number of positive votes, I had decided to continue this blog. But all that goes into waste now! Probably, I should have been more careful and quicker in deleting the obscense comments but it is not possible for me to monitor the blog 24 by 7.

4. I hope you would have no hard feelings towards yours truly. Honestly, I never had any regionalist intentions and the only thing on my mind was fun and humor. As far as bevdaa, junglee, radio and all others of whom fun was made are concerned, their names would have almost never come up in the blog again. I have no grudge against any of them, they had been mocked once already so they would have never come in the firing line again. The plan was to make fun of different sets of 10-15 guys every week, that way most of you would have been covered :)

5. My message to you all would be not to hate each other, stay united ... dont try to find me :) ... instead try to find the buffoons who spoilt YOUR fun and party and tried to create hatred amongst all of us.

6. So then, basically, this is the obituary of this blog and the end of my short blogging career! Does that make me sad? Well, yes, partly. But really, its not MY loss. Its YOUR loss. YOU were getting entertained for FREE !!! Its YOU who are going to be deprived of all the excitement and thrill. For me, its one less thing to do now in an otherwise hectic semester.

7. Who am I? Something that has been debated long in this short span. You would be disappointed to know that none of you ever came close OR thought in the right direction. This blog was being written on cricket, a TEAM game. Behind every good work there is a crime and behind every crime there is a TEAM of criminals is all I can say.

8. My email id is fakeksuplayer@gmail.com ... if you have anything to say, feel free to email. I have read all emails that have been sent to me till this time. Do I have thoughts of restarting the blog? I don't know, maybe I will think of it if I receive emails from responsible, non-anonymous, known email id's in sufficient number.

9. Finally, thank you all for your participation in this blog by way of comments, love, appreciation, feedback, criticism, jokes, conversations, brickbats, abuses etc

Goodbye and Good luck.

P.S. I already have the first email which asks me to put non-anonymous commenting on. This is equivalent to responsible ppl posting comments he says. Yeah dude, you are right. Yours truly is not smart enough to think of this. Anyway, turning non-anonymous commenting on here.

Its decision time

I have been reading your comments, particularly to the last post and I want to clear out a few things:

1. Some of you think I have toned down. This is a correct observation. I made a conscious effort to write things in a milder way. Why did I do that? To be frrank, I had (and still have) serious thoughts of announcing who I am after the finals. When I do that, I don't want you guys to have a grudge on me. At that time, I would like to see comments like "it was fun, we had a good laugh" rather than comments like "how dare you said something like this about me". Besides, even with a milder version and my "Word of Caution", some of you seem to be hunting for my head which saddens me.

2. There was this comment saying that I'm abusing ppl!!! Really, am I ? I don't think I have abused even a single person on this blog till now. I've said this before, my only intention behind this blog is good-natured humor and banter during fun kriket. My thoughts behind the blog were that what if no one covers fun kriket. Lets have a blog that ppl can read daily just like a newspaper .... for updates. But its just a shame that some guys are not man enough to bite the bullet.

3. Till the current date and time, yours truly has not posted any comment on this blog. So I dont know who is posting comments like "say whatever u say I do whatever I do" etc. My guess is as good as yours. Please do not trust any comments made on my behaf, its simply not me. If I have to say something I'll post it in the blog, I will never comment.

Now then, going by the comments and a couple of "hate emails" that I have received, I want to make a decision folks. I can take whatever you throw at me. Call me kala bandar, ba****, bh****, call me anything. What I cannot see is losing trust and friendship of my friends, particularly those of you who are close to me. I can see my close friends using cus words seriously against me which hurts. So do I stop all this? Do I stop writing? I don't think thats the right thing to do but I don't know if I should stop and I cannot decide.

Besides, I am a democrat. I am here for you, of you and by you. This blog is here for YOUR entertainment, our entertainment. The blog belongs to YOU as much as it belongs to me. So I want YOU guys to decide and tell me what I should do. Your options are:

A. Keep blogging, without toning down. Uncensored. Write in full swing. But then I don't reveal myself in the end.

B. Keep blogging but be mild. let know your identity in the end.

C. Stop this non-sense.

D. F***-off, we don't care.

One small request, please honour the democratic spirit of this blog and comment your vote only once. Would be great if you can let me know the reasons for your answer as well. Also, no comment would indicate option C or D to me.

I'll see if I get sufficient number of positive comments. I will also observe your reactions and discussions during my interactions with you. Based on that I will decide whether this is the end of my blogging career OR if I get back to report fun in the matches next week. Till then, goodbye. But ofcourse I'll keep seeing you at the ground daily :)

Yesterday's Report

Finally, I get a chance to post this one out. You know what, suddenly I have had to be extra careful in writing my posts and posting them. You guys try your best not to leave me alone anywhere. Things have kind of started to become challenging on this front; thats why the delay posting this!
I was observing everyone from a distance in yesterday's games. I don’t know if it was my imagination fueled by guilt conscience or what, but I felt that everyone was talking about the blog. I also felt my movements were being analyzed by everyone on the ground. I hadn’t quite prepared myself to deal with this situation. Should I act cool, or should I get aggressive, should I start pointing fingers, or should I crack jokes on the blog? I was very conscious not to do something out of character. Afterall, predictions about my identity are taking place everywhere. I was surprised to see people yesterday standing outside union and discussing this blog and the person behind it!

Anyway, about the games yesterday, they were extremely boring. Initially there was fun in the stands atleast but soon after, radio came in and ate our heads with all his attitude, jumping around and stupid jokes. Radio was shouting so loudly, it seemed he was the cheer leader of every team playing today. If so, he might as well dance along the boundary line in miniskirts rather than irritate people in the stands. It was also interesting to see ppl in the stands. Family members of money bro oldies had come to cheer them. There was this girl pinky who was trying to act very smart in the stands. Sometimes I got so irritated felt like u need radio'esque non sense to keep ppl like her quiet!

Tell you what, the Manhatttttan Mavericks are a team that "look" very distinct in the field. Almost everyone in their team cannot be missed on the field with their height, pot belly and receding hairlines. These guys can give the Money bro oldies a run for their money. Talking about Money bros though, they had the devils LBW: Lost, Beaten and Walloped. This was on the cards really as I had predicted. I had told sheru, the devils skippa, to not take part in this fun kriket. But who listens to me! Everyone, in the name of fun kriket, wants to play and make a fool of themselves. Googlies though threw a complete googly by coming trumps today. Mithunda looked shaktiman only by looks .... as far as his performance goes he would get a complete zero. God knows why gooooglies made vaaastav the skippa though. He could hardly bowl and throw. Looking him struggle, I had this urge to tell the IISA committee that they should have fun kriket tournament for juniors as well in which kids like vaastav and mandolin bachha can show their skills.

Anyway, the highlight of the day was provided by the Bangla team. Man, this guy bhikari rocks. he is an absolute super star. The way he bowled, batted, catched, danced, he has absolute makings of "The fun kriket entertainer" award. The I'llfu**you team should be heavily penalized for depriving bhikari from providing more entertainment to us folks on Friday. And by the way, this name BHikari seems to have now cast in stone. Apparently, players from all teams seem to be calling him by this name.Haha. This is fun.

Okay enough of my talk now. I've got to go now otherwise some spies are going to drive this mole out of his hole. More in the next post. adios.

Day 2 Preview

Tell you what, this Anonymity thing rocks. Just like you guys try to guess my identity, I also try to guess who each "anonymous" commenter is. While I appreciate all your comments, I was particularly thinking who this guy could be to call me ba***** and bh*****. Apparently, the news is that it was bevdaa trying to vent out his frustration after he had bottled down yet another alcohol shot. Baby and Chhota were there to pacify him but can anyone stop bevdaa when he's in that kind of a mood!

About the games today, I really feel sad for bhikari. As if yesterday's pasting was not enough for him, he's up against tail-ennnnders today. The tail ennnnders skippa funny is actually quite a bore. He looks like a hindi film villan, with a face always eluded by smile. Given a chance, I would like to see Funny with his head shaved off, he would definitely look in place then. I also find this guy Prasun really funny, doesn't he look like some hindi film comedian? Anyhow, the tail enders seem to be a strong side with Dinda and uncle sam too in the side. Looks like they are going to whack bhikari and his team with their tail. But be careful guys with you tails, don't try to get them too up ;)

I don't understand if money bros get some money loaded into their bank accounts tournamet after tournament . I mean, I don't understand why they keep coming back to play. A bunch of oldies, they should retire and better perform some bhajans to keep the crowd entertained. Next year, I am going to suggest a rule in fun cricket. 40+ year olds like money bros and sandi pardada from bevdaa's side should not be allowed to play. Its not fair on kids like mandolin bachha who get whacked on their as* by the budhha log. An exception in the Money bros side is chhetri the item. Boy tell you what this item is an ammmmmmmmmmazing character. He has this poker faced way of saying stupid things that had everyone in splits ;)

But anyway, the devils have made a daring by wanting to play in the tournament. They're going to be beaten black and blue not just in this game but in the rest of the tournament as well. By the way, following Junglee's lead, Santi the devil has also got a gori chhori in the squad. Good for us, that should be nice entertainment.

In the second game, the goooooglers stand no chance against mavericks. I mean the mavericks have in their side our very own mithunda. He will jump 100 feet in the sky to pluck out catches, his balls will skid through at 100 mph and what not. Goooooglies on the other hand are a bunch of buffoons led from the front by Vaaaaaastav. But someone spare a thought for poor old dindya dingri. Seeing his face I always get a feeling that he has just been fu***ed. Why hurt such a kid da! My sympathies are with dingri.

Anyway guys, more on the games later on. I'll keep you updated.

Word of Caution

A real quick note to all you guys out there. After talking to you guys and seeing your reactions to the blog, it seems you're all taking stuff in this blog very seriously. Let me clarify: The only purpose I've started this blog is to add more fun and spice up fun kriket 09 even more. Moreover, let me make this thing very clear with sort of a disclaimer notice: "This is a work of fiction and any resemblance to actual people is purely coincidental". :)

I am a good friend of you all and so I have no intentions of seriously hurting anyone's emotions. At the same time let me tell you, no one is going to be spared in the next 20 days or so.....everyone's going to be made fun of.
My request to you all is to take it chill, do not take the blog seriously. Just enjoy reading it and treat the blog like a fun element just like we make fun of each other when we are together.
If I am hurting anybody's emotions through this, my sincere apologies for that. However, this does not mean I am going to stop writing ...... more fun lies ahead :D
Tata.

P.S. I do not understand why you guys email me. If you have any suggestions or comments to make, you can post comments directly on the blog!!!! For those fattus, who chicken out from posting comments directly on the blog, I am enabling anonymous commenting. Hopefully from now on, I won't have to go to my emails to read your suggestions and thoughts!