Final Say

Straight to the points:

1. I'm pretty sure all of us here share one common sentiment and that is having fun. We are all very united and there is no feeling of hatred or regionalism amongst us. Its just that there are a couple of spoit eggs out there, who have affected our mood. 

2. To those idiots who got regionalism into this, I would like to point out one fact: Names appearing on this blog had included bevdaa, radio, lata, junglee, bhikari, frog dude, pardada .... all from different parts of the country. Your accusation of regionalism was baseless. The truth is that you guys wanted particular individuals to be targeted. When that did not happen, it resulted in frustration! What you did not realize is that this blog was just 3 days old. There are 13 teams that is 78 individuals playing. It was impossible to get all these individuals on the blog in 6 posts. You should have been patient. sabka number aatha.

3. Going by the number of positive votes, I had decided to continue this blog. But all that goes into waste now! Probably, I should have been more careful and quicker in deleting the obscense comments but it is not possible for me to monitor the blog 24 by 7.

4. I hope you would have no hard feelings towards yours truly. Honestly, I never had any regionalist intentions and the only thing on my mind was fun and humor. As far as bevdaa, junglee, radio and all others of whom fun was made are concerned, their names would have almost never come up in the blog again. I have no grudge against any of them, they had been mocked once already so they would have never come in the firing line again. The plan was to make fun of different sets of 10-15 guys every week, that way most of you would have been covered :)

5. My message to you all would be not to hate each other, stay united ... dont try to find me :) ... instead try to find the buffoons who spoilt YOUR fun and party and tried to create hatred amongst all of us.

6. So then, basically, this is the obituary of this blog and the end of my short blogging career! Does that make me sad? Well, yes, partly. But really, its not MY loss. Its YOUR loss. YOU were getting entertained for FREE !!! Its YOU who are going to be deprived of all the excitement and thrill. For me, its one less thing to do now in an otherwise hectic semester.

7. Who am I? Something that has been debated long in this short span. You would be disappointed to know that none of you ever came close OR thought in the right direction. This blog was being written on cricket, a TEAM game. Behind every good work there is a crime and behind every crime there is a TEAM of criminals is all I can say.

8. My email id is fakeksuplayer@gmail.com ... if you have anything to say, feel free to email. I have read all emails that have been sent to me till this time. Do I have thoughts of restarting the blog? I don't know, maybe I will think of it if I receive emails from responsible, non-anonymous, known email id's in sufficient number.

9. Finally, thank you all for your participation in this blog by way of comments, love, appreciation, feedback, criticism, jokes, conversations, brickbats, abuses etc

Goodbye and Good luck.

P.S. I already have the first email which asks me to put non-anonymous commenting on. This is equivalent to responsible ppl posting comments he says. Yeah dude, you are right. Yours truly is not smart enough to think of this. Anyway, turning non-anonymous commenting on here.

Its decision time

I have been reading your comments, particularly to the last post and I want to clear out a few things:

1. Some of you think I have toned down. This is a correct observation. I made a conscious effort to write things in a milder way. Why did I do that? To be frrank, I had (and still have) serious thoughts of announcing who I am after the finals. When I do that, I don't want you guys to have a grudge on me. At that time, I would like to see comments like "it was fun, we had a good laugh" rather than comments like "how dare you said something like this about me". Besides, even with a milder version and my "Word of Caution", some of you seem to be hunting for my head which saddens me.

2. There was this comment saying that I'm abusing ppl!!! Really, am I ? I don't think I have abused even a single person on this blog till now. I've said this before, my only intention behind this blog is good-natured humor and banter during fun kriket. My thoughts behind the blog were that what if no one covers fun kriket. Lets have a blog that ppl can read daily just like a newspaper .... for updates. But its just a shame that some guys are not man enough to bite the bullet.

3. Till the current date and time, yours truly has not posted any comment on this blog. So I dont know who is posting comments like "say whatever u say I do whatever I do" etc. My guess is as good as yours. Please do not trust any comments made on my behaf, its simply not me. If I have to say something I'll post it in the blog, I will never comment.

Now then, going by the comments and a couple of "hate emails" that I have received, I want to make a decision folks. I can take whatever you throw at me. Call me kala bandar, ba****, bh****, call me anything. What I cannot see is losing trust and friendship of my friends, particularly those of you who are close to me. I can see my close friends using cus words seriously against me which hurts. So do I stop all this? Do I stop writing? I don't think thats the right thing to do but I don't know if I should stop and I cannot decide.

Besides, I am a democrat. I am here for you, of you and by you. This blog is here for YOUR entertainment, our entertainment. The blog belongs to YOU as much as it belongs to me. So I want YOU guys to decide and tell me what I should do. Your options are:

A. Keep blogging, without toning down. Uncensored. Write in full swing. But then I don't reveal myself in the end.

B. Keep blogging but be mild. let know your identity in the end.

C. Stop this non-sense.

D. F***-off, we don't care.

One small request, please honour the democratic spirit of this blog and comment your vote only once. Would be great if you can let me know the reasons for your answer as well. Also, no comment would indicate option C or D to me.

I'll see if I get sufficient number of positive comments. I will also observe your reactions and discussions during my interactions with you. Based on that I will decide whether this is the end of my blogging career OR if I get back to report fun in the matches next week. Till then, goodbye. But ofcourse I'll keep seeing you at the ground daily :)

Yesterday's Report

Finally, I get a chance to post this one out. You know what, suddenly I have had to be extra careful in writing my posts and posting them. You guys try your best not to leave me alone anywhere. Things have kind of started to become challenging on this front; thats why the delay posting this!
I was observing everyone from a distance in yesterday's games. I don’t know if it was my imagination fueled by guilt conscience or what, but I felt that everyone was talking about the blog. I also felt my movements were being analyzed by everyone on the ground. I hadn’t quite prepared myself to deal with this situation. Should I act cool, or should I get aggressive, should I start pointing fingers, or should I crack jokes on the blog? I was very conscious not to do something out of character. Afterall, predictions about my identity are taking place everywhere. I was surprised to see people yesterday standing outside union and discussing this blog and the person behind it!

Anyway, about the games yesterday, they were extremely boring. Initially there was fun in the stands atleast but soon after, radio came in and ate our heads with all his attitude, jumping around and stupid jokes. Radio was shouting so loudly, it seemed he was the cheer leader of every team playing today. If so, he might as well dance along the boundary line in miniskirts rather than irritate people in the stands. It was also interesting to see ppl in the stands. Family members of money bro oldies had come to cheer them. There was this girl pinky who was trying to act very smart in the stands. Sometimes I got so irritated felt like u need radio'esque non sense to keep ppl like her quiet!

Tell you what, the Manhatttttan Mavericks are a team that "look" very distinct in the field. Almost everyone in their team cannot be missed on the field with their height, pot belly and receding hairlines. These guys can give the Money bro oldies a run for their money. Talking about Money bros though, they had the devils LBW: Lost, Beaten and Walloped. This was on the cards really as I had predicted. I had told sheru, the devils skippa, to not take part in this fun kriket. But who listens to me! Everyone, in the name of fun kriket, wants to play and make a fool of themselves. Googlies though threw a complete googly by coming trumps today. Mithunda looked shaktiman only by looks .... as far as his performance goes he would get a complete zero. God knows why gooooglies made vaaastav the skippa though. He could hardly bowl and throw. Looking him struggle, I had this urge to tell the IISA committee that they should have fun kriket tournament for juniors as well in which kids like vaastav and mandolin bachha can show their skills.

Anyway, the highlight of the day was provided by the Bangla team. Man, this guy bhikari rocks. he is an absolute super star. The way he bowled, batted, catched, danced, he has absolute makings of "The fun kriket entertainer" award. The I'llfu**you team should be heavily penalized for depriving bhikari from providing more entertainment to us folks on Friday. And by the way, this name BHikari seems to have now cast in stone. Apparently, players from all teams seem to be calling him by this name.Haha. This is fun.

Okay enough of my talk now. I've got to go now otherwise some spies are going to drive this mole out of his hole. More in the next post. adios.

Day 2 Preview

Tell you what, this Anonymity thing rocks. Just like you guys try to guess my identity, I also try to guess who each "anonymous" commenter is. While I appreciate all your comments, I was particularly thinking who this guy could be to call me ba***** and bh*****. Apparently, the news is that it was bevdaa trying to vent out his frustration after he had bottled down yet another alcohol shot. Baby and Chhota were there to pacify him but can anyone stop bevdaa when he's in that kind of a mood!

About the games today, I really feel sad for bhikari. As if yesterday's pasting was not enough for him, he's up against tail-ennnnders today. The tail ennnnders skippa funny is actually quite a bore. He looks like a hindi film villan, with a face always eluded by smile. Given a chance, I would like to see Funny with his head shaved off, he would definitely look in place then. I also find this guy Prasun really funny, doesn't he look like some hindi film comedian? Anyhow, the tail enders seem to be a strong side with Dinda and uncle sam too in the side. Looks like they are going to whack bhikari and his team with their tail. But be careful guys with you tails, don't try to get them too up ;)

I don't understand if money bros get some money loaded into their bank accounts tournamet after tournament . I mean, I don't understand why they keep coming back to play. A bunch of oldies, they should retire and better perform some bhajans to keep the crowd entertained. Next year, I am going to suggest a rule in fun cricket. 40+ year olds like money bros and sandi pardada from bevdaa's side should not be allowed to play. Its not fair on kids like mandolin bachha who get whacked on their as* by the budhha log. An exception in the Money bros side is chhetri the item. Boy tell you what this item is an ammmmmmmmmmazing character. He has this poker faced way of saying stupid things that had everyone in splits ;)

But anyway, the devils have made a daring by wanting to play in the tournament. They're going to be beaten black and blue not just in this game but in the rest of the tournament as well. By the way, following Junglee's lead, Santi the devil has also got a gori chhori in the squad. Good for us, that should be nice entertainment.

In the second game, the goooooglers stand no chance against mavericks. I mean the mavericks have in their side our very own mithunda. He will jump 100 feet in the sky to pluck out catches, his balls will skid through at 100 mph and what not. Goooooglies on the other hand are a bunch of buffoons led from the front by Vaaaaaastav. But someone spare a thought for poor old dindya dingri. Seeing his face I always get a feeling that he has just been fu***ed. Why hurt such a kid da! My sympathies are with dingri.

Anyway guys, more on the games later on. I'll keep you updated.

Word of Caution

A real quick note to all you guys out there. After talking to you guys and seeing your reactions to the blog, it seems you're all taking stuff in this blog very seriously. Let me clarify: The only purpose I've started this blog is to add more fun and spice up fun kriket 09 even more. Moreover, let me make this thing very clear with sort of a disclaimer notice: "This is a work of fiction and any resemblance to actual people is purely coincidental". :)

I am a good friend of you all and so I have no intentions of seriously hurting anyone's emotions. At the same time let me tell you, no one is going to be spared in the next 20 days or so.....everyone's going to be made fun of.
My request to you all is to take it chill, do not take the blog seriously. Just enjoy reading it and treat the blog like a fun element just like we make fun of each other when we are together.
If I am hurting anybody's emotions through this, my sincere apologies for that. However, this does not mean I am going to stop writing ...... more fun lies ahead :D
Tata.

P.S. I do not understand why you guys email me. If you have any suggestions or comments to make, you can post comments directly on the blog!!!! For those fattus, who chicken out from posting comments directly on the blog, I am enabling anonymous commenting. Hopefully from now on, I won't have to go to my emails to read your suggestions and thoughts!

The games begin

Hooof .... sorry guys, got late in publishing this one but it was a tiring day in the office. The games, though just 6 overs long, are still tiring ..... particularly for folks like us who do not play very often!

All three games were interesting though and I had tremendous fun watching the games as well as watching the fun in the stands.

Game 1: The first game was a joke. Seemed like both teams wanted to lose. Bhikari's team batted like bhikaris .... begging for runs. Joker's though were more fun to watch. They call themselves I'llfu**you but they fu** themselves by playing two girls: Migraine and Dancer. Dancer was hillarious to watch. We guys almost collapsed laughing the way the guy, o sorry the gal, batted. And the way he/she ran, it looked like a potato was rolling on floor. Seriously, folks like dancer provide good laughter to us and the perfect masala for such posts. If playing 2 gals was not enough, Joker's team played mandolin bachha also. Poor mandolin, the kid was totally out of place. Joker though performed stunts of his own in the end to pull it off for his team. His team were celebrating as if they just won a world cup. Just a couple of games more and they're going to walk off the field with their bats in their hands.

Game 2: Very little surprises. Bevda seemed in a hurry to finish the game. Seems he wanted to go for a daaaru soon. In the field, bevdaa was trying to behave like a cool dude to impress baby, their wicketkeeper. I kept a close eye on Chhota Chhatri aka Circuit. Poor chhota, seeing bevdaa impress baby he seemed to be thinking: mera number kab aaega! The entire bevdaa's team seemed to have strategized against radio: they seemed to have pushed the stop button for him, they just did not let him bat. Radio though tried his best to make a fool of himself. Going by his antics, I'm pretty sure he's going to be a strong candidate for the Appam Chu**ya award that I will anounce at the end of the fun kriket. In the other team, poor anna seemed to have lost it completely. Natwarlal in their team played as if to compete with dancer. Both are definite candidates for the "Fun Kriket ka Aalu" award.

Game 3: Its not surprising the chargers lost. The ISA committee is to be blamed for this. They did not allow Strings to bat with his guitar. I'm positive Strings would have packed Junglee's team into a jungle had they allowed him the Guitar. But alas. Lata was hillarious: Everytime she would run like a dog behind the ball and kick it outside the boundary. Seeing her struggle, I had the wish to tell her and strings to sit with us in the stands and play some music. Thats the best, and only thing, they can do.
I don't get whats the deal with Junglee. Just cannot fathom why he tries to show off things that do not even exist. Sleeves rolled up today, I won't be surprised if he plays without a shirt in the next game with his tummy huge hanging out. And in the next game, with his pants off.
Junglee's gora pet did well in the field. But common guys, the gora clearly does not bowl ... he throws. But we desis na ... we'll still not object and allow firangs to do whatever they want to do with us. This really saddens me.
Finally, TomBoy seemed like a jumping jack. She looks like a frog really, her dives looked like she was trying to swim even when there was no water, OR should I say she looked like running behind chickens to catch them, making a complete fool of herself.

But who cares as long as we get entertained. So let the show go on.
To all you guys, keep your suggestions and responses coming. I'll try my best to keep you informed regularly ;). But after being in the stands today, I've realized that I need to be a little careful, you guys seem to be doing all sorts of things to find me out. So in the future, its kind of going to get a little difficult for me to sit in the stands alone and keep a track of things happening on the ground.
Finally, I've got a few emails asking me my identity. I cannot let you know right now who I am. But I'll reveal my identity after the finals .... on this very blog.

Taking Guard

Let the fun begin they say and so here I am starting the fun. Question is who am I? I am yet another K-stater around the corner, just like you. In the next 20 days, I'll get to you the "aankho dekha haal" of IISA fun kriket 2009 with all inside news and "chatpati khabre".
So the inaugral match today is between I'llFu**you and Banglas. Banglas are led by BHikari and I'llFu**you led by joker. I saw teams practicing today and it seems age has caught up with Bandar and he is not playing tomorrow. I don't understand why those over-smarties named their team I'llFu**you. Would be fun to see bhikari put his bat up their rear. Wonder what they would say then.
The second game promises to be fun. Poookris led by bevdaa and Wrrrong ones led by anna. Talking about team names, here is a team that has named itself right: Wrrrong ones. Indeed they are all wrong and are going to get screwed today. Poookris are a team to beat, that is if bevdaaa hosh me ho to. Saala bahut pita hai. It would be interesting to see if Aks, the radio, can keep his idiotic stunts down and concentrate at the job on hand. Then, there is bevdaa's assistant: chhota chhatri. A real character that guy is, reminds me of Circuit. And I wonder when Sandi pardada would retire .... he keeps coming every year.
Just cannot get my mind off team names: 6 packs led by junglee. Junglee has gone so fat in the last year, someone needs to tell him his team name would better off be fatso. He's also got into his team a gora. Wonder when we desis would stop milking the phirangs. Junglee is up against chargers. I wonder if their captain, Strings, would get his guitar to bat. That is the only thing Strings can hold is his hand. Strings, anyway, has brought Lata into his team. So the chargers can play good naach-gaana while junglee and his team provide the current.
Hmm, thats a long one first up. I'll return soon, hopefully tomorrow, with results of today's game. Till then, alvida!!!